Recently, I heard a conversation again that troubled my soul. An adult child was complaining very bitterly about a parent. One word which I hear as regularly as a mantra: from children who are angry with any parent is, “dad /mum was never there for me”.

They say it as if that absolve them from obeying God’s Word that, “If you honor your father and mother, things will go well for you, and you will have a long life on the earth.” (Ephesians. 6:2-3, NLT).

I understand that some parents may have grieved their children. However, obedience precedes feelings.

Let us discuss the fine points of the command:”

1. if You honor your father and mother:

2. “Things will go well for You”

3. You will have a long life on earth. (emphasized). I like the Contemporary English Bible translation of this verse, it say, you will have “a long and happy life.”

Do you get the point of that scripture? It’s all about you!

Whether you believe it or not, the universe functions on divine principles.

One of such principle is the law of retributive justice which states that If anyone returns evil for good, evil will not depart from his house (See Proverbs 17:13).

Another of such universal principle is that of ‘seed time and harvest’ (See Genesis 8:22, Galatians 6:7-8).

Whether you are Christian or atheist, as long as you are in this world that God created, these principles are in operation in your reality.

As swimmers will tell you, it’s much easier to flow with the tide than to swim against the tide.

If you want to live a long and happy life in this world, honor your parents.

God did not condition the honoring of parents on their goodness, etc. He wants you to link up with the blessings He has placed in this world for you, which will enable you fulfil the purpose of your life on this planet.

Don’t you get it still? There is a purpose for your life. God has plans to give you a future of glory. You can only participate in the blessings if you are willing and obedient (See Isa. 1:19).

An attitude of gratitude will reposition you for excellence and wholeness (See Luke 17:11-19).

One of the ways to develop a gratitude mentality is to appreciate the parents God used to bring you into this world. Hence God’s Word says, if you want to live a long, happy and prosperous life, honor your parents.

Do you think that the Omniscience is unaware that some parents won’t fulfil all their parental duties? He wants you to focus on the good they did so that you won’t short-circuit His blessings to you.

Your mama did not abort you! She carried your increasing weight for 9 months.

You could try carrying your 2kg computer 🖥 in your backpack for 7days without putting it down. Do everything with it attached to you – eat, sleep, sit, stand and use the restroom with it: then tell me “mom was not there for me”.

Really??? That is very ignorant. Your parents were there for you when you needed them most-in the womb and in your infancy! Check statistics of how many children die before their second birthday. But you survived.

Many parents were in destructive relationships and they sacrificed to keep their kids safe.

I was raised by a generation who were not good at communicating their feelings. My parents grew up in a generation that were experiencing depression and who didn’t have the luxury of stopping to process how difficult life was.

And like most parents at that time, they dug deeply, bore the burden of providing for their large family. They assumed that their kids (and spouses) knew they were loved.

My parents were hardworking. They had to be, in order to raise a large family. They too like their parents before them, assumed we knew we were loved. Knowing it and experiencing it are two different things however.

Even with hardworking responsible parents, the emotional deprivation hangs like a shadow over your soul which becomes worse if the significant parent dies.

Our mom died while i was a teenager and the second child among ten siblings. It was devasting. Some of my younger siblings have no memories of her.

Our dad tried his best but he was a broken man and could really not cope with the stress of working harder to provide basic necessities. And we became more emotionally deprived.

Without getting the facts straight, one would ignorantly say “dad was not there for me”. He did the best that he could in that situation. He had his own personal struggles-the loss of his loving friend and companion. He could not grieve properly because he was of the stock that don’t show emotion-men don’t cry!

God wants you to be filled with empathy for others. Humanity messed up in Adam. But God stepped in as an act of love to rescue us from the sin, shame, sickness which were the resultant consequences of our actions. Hence, while we were yet sinners, Christ died for us (See Romans 5: 5-8).

God does not expect from you what He has not equipped you for. You can love your parents, honor them and have a long, happy and prosperous life.

If you are a believer in Christ, God’s enabling grace is available to you. He has poured love into your heart by the Holy Spirit resident in you.

However, to love or hate is an act of the will. You can choose to love your parents, honor them and enter into the blessings of God.

Just as God reached out to you and restored you into a relationship with Him, He expects that you do same for others especially your parents. Hence He gave us the Word and ministry of reconciliation (See 2Cor. 5:17-21).

You stand to gain more if you honor your parents.

ACTIONS

If you are experiencing hardship, consecutive failures, health challenges that defies medical science, you need to repent of all the ways you have disrespected/dishonored your parents. That spiritual action will realign you to God’s will for your life.

Truth is, if you do not honor your parents, you stand to reap worse disrespect from your children, employers, friends etc. The reason is that sin degenerates in subsequent generations. And you reap abundantly whatever you sow (the principle of seed time and harvest).

Try and empathize with your parents . Understand that they did the best that they knew how to at that time.

Resolve to do better than they did.

When you hold the past against your parents, you compromise your present, frustrate your future and activate demons!

Be wise my friend: if you hold on to grudges, you will not have hands to receive blessings.

* Therefore, cleanse your mind of all anger, bitterness, inability to forgive, resentment etc., by acknowledging them at the place of prayer. Bare your heart to God, tell Him exactly why you are angry. I pray peace from God flood your soul in Christ matchless name (See 1Jn. 1:7-9).
* if you are still having problems forgiving, ask God to show you something good about your parents, that will help you respond to them as you should.
*Pray for your parents, after which, go visit, call and take them gifts. If you really want to move into the next levels, go and smooth things over with your parents and anyone elsegthat you have issues with. You need to travel light. You don’t need encumbrances that will weigh you down.

The Christian life is a marathon and not a hundred meter dash. Shed anything that will impede your progress. Negative emotions retard progress and create psychosomatic disorders.

*When you do what you ought to do, you won’t need to ask your parents to bless you because, your obedient action Deactivates demons. Your parents would bless you from within.

*Resolve to love everyone as God loves you. Love is your cover of invincibility.

How to Honor Parents

Respect them in attitude, words, and actions. (See Pro. 13:1: Mk. 7:6: Matt. 15:3-9). The Greek word from which honor is derived means, to revere, prize and value. You are to respect your parents whether they deserve the honor or not.

Provide for them in their old age (See Matt 15:3-9: 23:23). Christ made provision for Mary before He accomplished His purpose on earth. He handed her over to John.

Advantages of honoring parents:

Blessings – wellness, ease of achievement, prosperity, posterity and Long life (See Jer. 35: 18-19: Rom. 1:30, 2Timothy 3:2

When you find yourself in a situation where instructions from parents contradict the Word of God, Obey the Word of God (See Ez. 29:18, Acts 5:29).

Shalom from #theWatchman Hephzibah Christly